This poem has been written for One Stop Poetry’s Octain Form Challenge – see it here. I’ve attempted a few new forms over the past couple of months including Triolet, Villanelle and Haiku – I think I’ve enjoyed this form the most. Stop by and have a go yourself. Hope you enjoy the poem ~
As I looked out at crested waves
wind afar changed yesterday’s scene:
calm and mirrored some say serene.
I’ve sailed the seas numbered seven
people died and we had to hide:
some went to a place called Heaven.
Beauty – and dismay – all I’ve seen
As I looked out at crested waves.
Click the link to take you to an audio clip of the poem ~ As I Looked
I would be grateful, if you guys at One Stop have the time, if you could critique it for me. I think I’ve captured the important elements and syllable count you’ve mentioned – I’d be most interested in meter, subject matter and if you think word changes here and there would add to it. Thanks for looking, no worries if you don’t get a chance to critique.